Letter to Quentin

Dear Quentin

Your name has been masked but you know who you are. I write as a friend & a concerned brother in Christ.

I have known you since 1996, when we both attended the marriage counselling classes conducted at our church. You came across to my wife & me as a loving husband. I was particularly impressed by your cooking for your wife, whom I shall call 'Ming'. I regretted not being able to do likewise for my wife, since I've never learned to cook. Your little gestures did not escape our eyes. My wife often praised you as a considerate & loving husband, a hint to me that I should learn from you.

10 years on, I see a completely different person in you. You no longer speak to Ming lovingly or respectfully; instead, harsh words & accusing questions often come out from your mouth. You often walk ahead, leaving Ming to handle your younger daughter & us to handle your son. You are often engrossed in your own activities, ignoring even moments when your kids get into life-threatening situations, such as running into oncoming traffic or climbing onto tables unsupervised. On those precious weekends when you are not performing camp duties, you choose to go for competitions such as bowling, running & big walk, instead of spending time with Ming & your 2 kids. When we talk to you, we sense that you harbour a lot of impatience & perhaps frustration.

Quentin, I don't know how to help besides praying for you. We offered our friendship & be your Sunday lunch companions because we know it makes your son James happy, & we know it may also help Ming in the physical sense & perhaps you too. However, since lunching with you for close to 2 years on most Sundays, things haven't improved. On the contrary, things have worsened. We witnessed more brash behaviour from you, we saw greater neglect in James & your daughter, Judy, & we felt Ming's silent & helpless struggle.

My wife & an elder prayed for Ming at the altar yesterday. Her hands were cold, & her spirit even more. She has no more tears to cry. She has always given us a standard 'OK' whenever we ask if she's alright. I leave it to you to see if things are really alright. You may hate me for saying all this, & even end our friendship but this is something I don't even worry about. What I'm most worried is the destruction of lives & souls, yours, Ming's, James' & Judy's.

It's not too late to wake up & stop this senseless destruction, Quentin. God did not give Ming, James and Judy to you to detonate over time. They are all precious lives, just like yours, all redeemed with the precious blood of Jesus. I will write another letter to you, to share with you how you can turn around your life, and then those of your loved ones.

In His Love,

Thomas