This is an excellent opportunity for all who wish to invest and maximize the returns on their investment. It certainly beats putting money in savings account or any other investment plan, regardless of the portfolios these plans are made up of. Historically, this plan has yielded more than 1000% on one occasion, and close to 600% on another occasion, all within minutes of the investment being made. Both occasions are recorded officially on publicly available documents for verification. Countless others, including me, have attested to similarly fantastic results.
What is this plan all about? Is it legal? Can I participate in this? All these, and more questions answered below.
Frequently asked questions
1. What plan is this & is it legal in the country where I live?
Ans: There isn't any official name for this plan, but I would call it the "Loaves and Fishes Mutual Fund", issued and owned exclusively by God. It's legal anywhere in this world, even on Mars and Venus if you live there, unless you happen to live in No.1 Hades Boulevard, Republic of Sheol.
2. Who is the Fund Manager?
Ans: Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God.
3. What does this fund invest in?
Ans: Unlike all other funds that invest in securities, equities, money markets, etc, this unique fund invests in what is ultimately important to the investor/participants - life itself. Imagine being rich and dead, bleah!
4. How does this fund generate returns?
Ans: Unlike all other funds which depend on how well the investment portfolio performs, this fund entrusts invested resources in the hands of the Almighty God, who has since day one of this world, created, owned and multiplied resources on this earth zillion upon zillion times. Every other fund in this world pales in comparison to this unique and all-encompassing fund.
5. What is the minimum investment capital?
Ans: There is no minimum investment capital, and it's not limited to mammon. You can invest anything you have been blessed with - talents, skills, time, non-monetary resources, etc. However, you need to invest all that you have in order to take part in this plan. No loose change or left-over resources accepted (SPCA & other charities will gladly accept them, however).
6. How do I cash out my returns? Do I get to keep all of them?
Ans: You get your returns as & when they are generated. Returns may come in the form of material blessings, peace, joy, wisdom, love, health, spiritual gifts, etc. However, as this is a unique fund that invests in life, the returns are not confined to you; others who may not have invested anything beyond being present will receive something as well. In fact, the only reason why the returns are so fantastic is due to something called "love". Love unlocks the selfish nature of all other investments, releases the invested resources fully to God, and lets Him multiply them freely and as He desires, to bless you and others.
You can't keep what isn't yours in the first place. You enjoy what you have been blessed with, and share your blessings with others. It's a lot more meaningful that way. After all, do you own the water that you drink or the air that you breathe? Do you own the beautiful blue sky, the deep blue sea, or the warm sunshine? No, God owns it and He has meant it for all to enjoy. If you want an investment that benefits you exclusively, if you haven't learnt why it's more blessed to give than to receive, then this isn't for you, but first, you may want to read this before you look to other funds.
When you have been blessed materially, remember to pay your taxes and tithes. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's.
7. How do I start investing in this fund? Is there an age limit?
Ans: Well, firstly, you need to open an account. Anyone, young or old, rich or poor, male or female, can open an account anytime and anywhere. The only possible exceptions are residents of Sheol (see answer to Q1). Then start investing. It's that simple.
8. Can I stop investing if I want to?
Ans: Yes, you can, but frankly, anyone who has invested in this plan will not opt out if they truly see the meaning of it.
Happy investing!
Thomas
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