Saturday, August 27, 2005

Cohabitation Contract

I almost fell off my chair when I saw an article in TODAY a few days back advocating a cohabitation contract. Well, I know cohabitation is not a new phenomenon, but to see someone trying to give it more legal support while at the same time deriding the values of marriage feels like another beep in your ERP reader (a taxi driver once told me, 'every time my ERP reader beeps, my heart also beat a few times faster').

Give us a break. Give people who believe in the institution of marriage (by the way, marriage between man & woman) a BIG break. What's wrong with marriage? Absolutely nothing. It's the self-centredness of people that causes marriages to breakdown. Just look at the commonly cited reasons for divorces:
  • Irreconciliable differences
  • Adultery
  • Marital Abuse
  • Extramarital Affairs
A quiz for you: which one of the above is not due to self-centredness on the part of one or both spouses?

a) Irreconciliable differences
b) Adultery
c) Marital Abuse
d) Extramarital Affairs
e) All of the above

No prize for the right answer ('cos I have given myself away earlier, dude).

Look at the big picture. Marriage is not a "Touch N Go" thingy (for those who drive up to Malaysia, you know what's Touch N Go). It's a "Touch N Stay" thingy. You agree to partner each other for life in the road ahead. Why is this partnership more than a casual meeting of persons? For one, this is for life. How many of us faithfully meet long-time friends regularly to keep up on each other's lives, to listen, to encourage, to help? Marriage is an agreement to team up for life, for better or for worse. You get a lifetime membership with no annual fees and no expiry date with a friend who lives with you. Can you beat that?

Marriage is certainly not like a game of soccer, where you team up with some kakis, kick a ball around for 30 minutes, then say goodbye till the next game. Marriage is for people serious about doing something worthwhile in life for others, everyday of our life. I do not need to articulate the rewards of marriage here because my detractors who are only concerned about the physical shape of the women they date or in fulfilling their sexual lusts will not be able to take it. But, like the too-bad-it-didn't-happen Presidential Election this month, not everyone qualifies for marriage.

Then you ask, what qualifies me for marriage?

Like the days following SARS, I have devised the following detection kit after the alarming increase in divorce cases, and now, the advocation of a cohabitation contract, all in the name of public service. What does the kit detect? It detects if you are a marriage disaster waiting to happen.

Check off those that applies, giving a score of 1 to each statement checked, then go to the scoring table below

a) I am a career-minded or ambitious type
b) I like myself or my car best
c) I go for money, fame and power
d) I don't have time or patience for kids, no matter how cute they are, or how much they resemble me
e) I don't have time for anyone who will grow old, slow, naggy, and saggy
e) I enjoy all things external, material, cosmetic and instant
f) I don't believe in inner beauty
g) I like to be served, but hate to serve others

What does your score say about you?

0 - Hooray, you don't have any of the serious traits of a potential marriage failure. You should qualify for marriage, but read my pointers below for what makes a marriage successful.
1 - 3: You are a potential marriage disaster. Go for that silly cohabitation contract.
4 - 6: You are a potential marriage and cohabitation contract disaster. Sign a cohabitation contract with your pet.
7 - 8: You are a potential marriage and cohabitation contract disaster, and your pet will sue you. Head for Mars when the shuttle service is ready.

Now that you have qualified, remember one thing. In marriage, you seek to serve & love the other half. Likewise, you receive the love the other half is giving you, because he or she also seeks to serve and love you. This is the secret of a successful marriage.

Ephesians 5: 22-28

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

God bless you, readers:)

Category: cf_hs

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