I am deaf. Can I help you?

I became deaf in my right ear at age 3 or 5, seemingly after high fever resulting from mumps. Nobody really knew because in those days (early 1970s), hearing screening for toddlers was unheard of in Singapore, and my mother didn't really think I was deaf though she could recall that I didn't respond well whenever my name was called, despite her having one of the loudest voices in the neighbourhood:). So whether it was high fever, a bad head injury I had when I was 3, or when a large earwax deposit was found and flushed out of my ear by an ENT specialist during my toddler years, I can't possibly know but one thing was sure, I was losing my hearing on my right ear very rapidly. By age 10, I no longer could use the telephone on my right ear, not even hearing the "toooo" tone over the phone. Meanwhile, my left ear's hearing deteriorated (again from what age, I cannot be sure). By the time I was in 2nd year NTU, I had to wear a hearing aid on my left ear at all times, and even then, hearing was a challenge. I would need to playback lecture recordings 3 times in my hostel room just to catch what the whole lecture was all about.

I suspect severe to profound hearing loss hit my right ear at age 10, and my left ear in secondary school/Junior college years. Nonetheless, since young, I have been to mainstream schools with no special arrangement/aid. I learned to turn to face the source of sound in the classroom as a child, and it has always been my style to face the speaker and subconsciously lip-read. I usually prepare myself ahead of any meeting or discussion so that I know what to expect. I didn't have to go through any speech training because I have been hearing & speaking all my life. Actually, I even played the electone (organ) till my teenage years & enjoyed music just like any teenager.

Today, at 37 years, I hear about 50% of what's spoken (with the hearing aid), and supplement the rest with lip-read, cross-checking, and notes taken (such as minutes, email follow-up, presentation materials, etc). I no longer enjoy listening to music as I can't really differentiate the differences in pitch, tone & key; however, somehow, by the grace of God, whenever my wife plays the piano, I can absorb and enjoy the songs she plays. Life's little surprises and mysteries:) As I shared previously, I sometimes find it difficult to speak clearly since I don't hear myself completely and clearly either. It's like speaking with cotton stuffed in the mouth or a swollen tongue. Before any speaking engagement (eg. presentations, seminars), I will work hard in "loosening" my tongue and rehearse repeatedly until I get it right. Like my university days, I probably put in 3 times more effort to get ready to speak and participate in an oral discussion, since speech and hearing don't come easily.

Not that I have all answers to the challenges that HI people face, but if I start sharing now, perhaps some people may be helped.

I have my challenges at work, such as using the phone, teleconferencing, or interacting with people at conferences & events, or anywhere where more than one person may be speaking at any one time, and where there's noise in the background. Or even in speaking to Causasians with a strong nasal tone and heavy accent. If you think about the work that I do (I am in IT sales & consultancy), you can expect such scenarios to take up say 80% or more of my work. I still use my 50% approach, supplemented with sometimes accurate, sometimes way-off-the-mark guesses. I'm actually beginning to feel challenged in group meetings with 5 or more persons. It's hard to engage the customer in a mutually satisfying discussion if I keep missing their comments or questions, despite having them repeat what they say. I am still figuring out how to mitigate this, and if you have any good suggestions, keep them coming:)

Tips for HI people:

1. Use your hearing & speech, or lose it.
2. Choose a suitable hearing aid for each ear if you have hearing loss in both ears. In-the-ear (ITE) and In-the-canal (ITC) models are suitable for moderate hearing loss, while behind-the-ear (BTE) hearing aids are suitable for profound hearing loss. Continue to stimulate hearing through listening. It's like muscles; if you want to keep them in shape, work them. If you have hearing loss in only one ear, use a hearing aid for that too because if you don't, you will lose the hearing in that ear.
3. If you need to use the phone regularly and you use an ITE/ITC hearing aid, place a piece of facial cotton or a make-up sponge (you can buy these at cosmetics shops; I understand these are use to wipe off facial makeup) between your handset and your ear to cut off feedback & background noise. If you use a BTE hearing aid, try an induction loop and a phone that supports hearing aid. I understand that Nokia phones are widely compatible with induction loop. You can approach the hearing care technician at the Singapore Association for the Deaf (or your local equivalent) or any hearing care specialists for assistance.
4. Where possible, try using speaker phone on your mobile or fixed-line phone as the volume can be turned up. If you do not have a speaker phone, consider using a phone amplifier which can be bought from the Singapore Association for the Deaf or various hearing clinics.
5. Face the source of sound at all times. There's nothing wrong with lip-reading. If you have to cup your ears to hear better, do it. Nothing to be ashamed of.
6. Try to meet people in small groups and in quiet places, of course.
7. Supplement your hearing with text materials to help you understand better what transpired in any discussion. Use notes, presentation slides, email follow-up, agenda outline.
8. Always clarify when in doubt about whether you have heard a person correctly.
9. Read widely & have a good command of the main language used at work & elsewhere. Being hard of hearing means that you may need to rely heavily on written correspondences, and this is one good avenue to get points communicated clearly.
10. Use subtitles whenever available. Communication is all about getting a message across, and if we need to read subtitles to follow a media broadcast, do it.
11. Ask for permission to record discussions with MP3 players. Playback at your convenience.
12. Be at peace with yourself. The challenges we face interacting with people can be frustrating. Look for ways in which you can be economically productive without letting your hearing impairment become a stumbling block. I have written a short blog on professions for the deaf. Check it out. Think about the possibilities. I think there are many more avenues for HI people like you and me to have a meaningful career.
13. Be at peace with God. HI or not, we can never be entirely self-sufficient. It's better to acknowledge our weaknesses and allow God to work through us.

God bless you:)

Thomas
Category: cf_df, sounding board