Happy Birthday

It was supposed to be a happy birthday, but I felt anything but happy. Should have practised what I preach and spoken less. Then I may have avoided this unnecessary heartache and the hurt I caused to my mom and brother.

 

It all started when I asked mom about my nephew's upcoming wedding. She blurted out some private comments within earshot of all around the table and possibly those nearby. I told her off immediately and what happened next was a heated debate about whether she has a right to say what she said.

 

Of course, the mouth is hers and she can say anything she wants, just as the blog is mine and I can say anything I want. But we all do have a choice about what we say, and discernment is called for. When something is private, we don't go around telling others if it will cause somebody hurt or embarrassment. I share my personal thoughts on this blog, but I don't embarrass anyone. If someone is embarrassed by the contents of this blog, it should be just me. 

 

I can't recall how many warring incidents have taken place amongst my mother's large troop of brothers and sisters, and most of the time, it's because somebody said something that inflamed another. And the hurt continued over the years like a see-saw. Some years we may visit an uncle or an aunt during Chinese New Year and some years we skip them, all because of some arguments that happened to occur just before Chinese New Year.

 

Words. They cut deeper than a two-edged sword. Many a family have been torn apart, and many a nation led to war, all because of words said.

 

Brother, thanks for telling me that I should have held my peace. I should have led mom into a room and talked to her in private instead of lecturing her at the table. For this, I deeply regret, because all I wanted was for mom to know she needs to choose wisely. Good news, we can share aloud, no problem with that. Personal and potentially embarrassing news, let the buck stop with us. Gossip is like choice morsels - they go into the deepest parts of the guts (Proverbs 18:8). Snuff them out before they cause further hurt.

 

Thomas