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Thanks for your note. Don't feel sad; I wasn't when I wrote the article. In fact, I was thankful that despite not being able to hear songs well, this was one song that came in crystal clear. In a way, God has enabled me to hear what He wants me to, and filter out the rest through deafness. Is this better than perfect hearing? Maybe. Remember what Jesus said about plucking out the eye that sins, for it's better to be blind in one eye and live than to have both eyes & go to hell.
God's workings in our lives are always beyond understanding but wonderful. I know He has His reasons for allowing certain things. If you ask me, this mortal body will fail anyway eventually so it's not important to me. What's important is that whilst I live, each moment must count. When the apostle Paul chose to boast about his weaknesses, he concluded by saying that His strength is made perfect in his weaknesses, and that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. I, too, can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. On the contrary, with perfect hearing, too much noise & negative words may get into my head and dampen my perspective in Christ. With a loud and steady voice, too many sinful and idle words may be shot off the mouth.
I believe God has our well-being at heart and He will not shortchange His children. He wants me to glorify Him, in spite of my condition. He will allow me to serve Him, to worship Him, to praise Him, deaf or otherwise. He will allow me to fellowship with the body of Christ and pray in word and in the Spirit. God and anyone is always a great team, and can do far more than a person without any defect can accomplish alone.
When I was younger, I used to ask for healing. In fact, I still do, during communion services especially. To me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Nothing is lost, healed or otherwise. By continuing to serve Him despite the uphill struggles, I am really leaning on Jesus and relying on His strength. This helps me keep pride and arrogance at bay, and I only boast of what He has done through me and for me. When I meet Him face to face, I will let Him explain to me. I may be wrong or right in my thinking now, but again what's important to me is that I grow in my focus on Jesus, deaf or otherwise, so that at the end after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualifed from the crown of life.
So, cheer up, my cousin. I would have been a wreck without Jesus, but the same cannot be said of me since it's Jesus who's living in me.
Empowered and overcompensated in Jesus.
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* Note from my cousin:
After reading your writeup yesterday, I wanted very much to write to you. My heart was saddened by what you have written about your deafness. Not only are you losing your hearing, but it has also affected your voice. However, what impacted me most was that you captured it in such a resigned manner, "But I know it's not possible while deafness lingers in this body." If I am wrong about this, please correct me. It was only when I started reading your writeup that I realised what you have been going through all your life and your ongoing struggles. I just want you to know that I am praying for the restoration of your voice and hearing in the days to come. Why? Because you are my cousin and Yahweh is a God who heals. Just as Jesus asked the man by the pool of Bethesda if he wanted to be made well in John 5:1-9, perhaps Jesus is asking you the same question this very day. And as you recognise the answer in your heart, take heart that He wants nothing but the best for you as you trust Him in this area.
May God bless you,
Thomas
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