Another miracle!

Just minutes ago, a piece of hardened cotton ball measuring 1cm long and 0.5cm thick dropped out from my right ear.

[The photo below shows the cotton ball next to my 8-yr old daughter Rachel's index finger].


I do not know when it got lodged in my ear. I had not felt any pain or discomfort, and there certainly hadn't been any infection in the ear. It could have been there for months or even years as the last time I had this ear checked by an audiologist was years ago. When the audiologist checked my ear last weekend, she had a worried look on her face. She spoke with a sense of urgency, telling me repeatedly that I need to see an ENT specialist soon to remove whatever is lodged in my ear.

I prayed and asked GOD to remove this without the help of a specialist. Out of curiosity, I checked with a specialist in private practice and found out that the estimated charges for ear syringing with consultation and medication would average S$300 and above. That alone would more than wipe out my entire medical claim entitlement for a year.

Anyway, it is not about how costly a specialist session would be. I believe GOD is the only specialist I need. I started praying on Sat. By yesterday which was Tue, I felt a little pain in my ear, and the ear seemed swollen. This evening, after shower, I felt that this foreign object, whatever it is, will come out tonight. I prayed again, and about 25 minutes later, it came out! I was shocked when I saw that it was a cotton ball and I was amazed at its size. It was bigger and broader than the end of a typical cotton bud. It was also covered with discoloured ear wax, indicating that it may have been in there rather long. I shouted with joy, giving praises to GOD, for only He alone could have done this miracle. Hallelujah!

Thomas

Self-introduction to the deaf community

I first joined The Singapore Association for the Deaf (SADeaf) as a volunteer in 2005, helping with a series of Public Education projects, which were mainly deaf awareness talks and activities at National Library branches.

My interest in helping the deaf community stems from my life journey as a person with hearing loss. From the age of 3 or 5, after a bout of mumps and high fever, I started losing hearing in my right ear. This was followed by the hearing in my left ear as a teenager. By the time I was doing my undergraduate studies at Nanyang Technological University, I had to rely on a hearing aid for all my waking hours.

Faced with multi-faceted challenges at various stages in life, I learned lessons which I felt would be good to share with the deaf community so as to enable others in similar situations to integrate more effectively with a predominantly hearing society.

In Apr 2006, I gave a presentation at a forum organized by Mount Elizabeth Hospital, which was targeted at parents of children with hearing loss. My presentation was based on the theme "Deaf does not mean less", where I shared my life story coping with hearing loss from young.
Later, together with a team of hearing and deaf persons passionate about helping the deaf community, we started the Deaf-initely Boleh! campaign under the Public Education wing of SADeaf.

This campaign was built upon the earlier theme of "Deaf does not mean less" and was aimed at transforming the landscape for the deaf community, to help them integrate more effectively into society at all levels. Besides a website, online forum and blog containing helpful,up-to-date resources for the deaf and their families, several projects were launched to proactively reach out to the deaf and the public.

Two major projects were the Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival in 2006 and the Deaf-initely No Excuses Run in 2007.

The 2-day carnival was a collaboration with the National Library Board, hospitals, hearing services providers and supporters of SADeaf. It featured talks, workshops, presentations and testimonies aimed at creating greater awareness of the help and options available for the deaf community. This inaugural event garnered positive feedback from deaf persons as well as their families and friends.

The Deaf-initely No Excuses Run , was organised in conjunction with the annual Army Half-Marathon, also known as the Sheares Bridge Run. It aimed to create greater awareness of the employment challenges faced by the deaf community in Singapore, and to broaden employment opportunities for them. The central message of this event was that there are no excuses not to employ or engage the deaf, as long as they have the ability to excel in the workplace.

I am grateful for the opportunities to serve through the Deaf-initely Boleh! campaign as well as other projects. I have been tremendously blessed by the friendships and ties forged as a result of the selfless teamwork, dedication and grit demonstrated by my fellow volunteers, staff of SADeaf and new friends found through these events and beyond. I have also discovered more of myself, and benefited from the experiences of others coping with deafness at various stages in life.

Personally, I have no regrets living life this way. Though I sometimes do wonder what life would be like without this disability, I thank GOD for showing me the road less travelled, for helping me appreciate more with less, and for blessing me with true love and friendship from the small social circle that I have. Indeed, deaf does not mean less, and this has now become a fitful addition to my personal motto of "making a difference". We can leave a meaningful, if not lasting, impact and legacy in the community where we live and serve, disabilities notwithstanding. In a world that emphasizes on perfection and outer beauty, where fleeting faces come and go and names are quickly forgotten, it is often in living and struggling with imperfection that one finds true friendship, love, and a character that endures.

Thomas

About the author:

Thomas has been married to Veronica, his lovely and supportive wife, for 14 years. They have 3 wonderful children - Deborah, Rachel and Grace. The family worships at Calvary Assembly of GOD church where both Thomas and Veronica are Sunday School teachers. Thomas presently works at a non-profit organization where he is head of information technology. He maintains a blog at http://cyberfellowship.blogspot.com, where he shares issues concerning his faith as a Christian, struggles with hearing loss, and various challenges in life as a working adult and family man. You can also find him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/twhtan or Facebook at http://facebook.com/weehuang. Thomas desires to see greater opportunities for deaf persons in school and at work, and hopes to continue to advocate that wherever and whenever possible.

A reminder of GOD's grace

The topic of Cochlear Implant (CI) cropped up again this morning.

My wife suggested that I consider it. She told me not to worry about the financial aspects of the implant and all that it entails. She assures me that we have enough savings. It pains her to see me struggle with losing my hearing, and not do anything about it.

I thank GOD for a loving wife who thinks nothing of letting me spend tens of thousands of dollars, just so that I can hear better. A year ago, she encouraged me to get a new hearing aid which costs over $2000. And now she says go for the CI.

When I prayed about the CI option this morning, it just didn't seem right, no matter how I tried to justify it. A good friend and sister in Christ, J, who is also hearing impaired like me, told me that she decided against CI as she felt GOD is able to sustain her by His grace. His grace, His boundless grace! The apostle Paul says, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9. What was I thinking??? I am sorry, GOD.

I just told my wife that I will not go for CI. I thank GOD for reminding me through J that He sustains us through His grace. I will face my giants as David did, without special armour or powerful weapons. Just GOD. A BIG GOD.

Even though I know the world, especially the marketplace demands nothing but the best, I will face it with my weaknesses and faith in GOD. If nothing, this will serve as my testimony of GOD's love and power. I don't need to package myself as a perfect person, just a regular person with weaknesses who trusts in a perfect GOD who provides and sustains. Hallelujah!

In His Love,
Thomas

A photo from Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival 2006

Thanks to Alvan for taking this shot of Adrian and me chatting at Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival 2006. Adrian reminds me of a younger version of me. *whips out old photo*

I am really amazed by Adrian's ability to carry on a full conversation and discussion despite having profound deafness in both ears and not wearing any hearing aid. Not only that, this former PSC Local Merit scholar speaks Chinese, Japanese, and a smattering of dialects. I think he's familiar with Korean and Vietnamese too.

Deaf-initely Boleh! (http://deafboleh.com) has really widened my vision and understanding of people with deafness in Singapore and even as more of them come into my life, much more remains to be learned, understood and appreciated. I am already thinking of what other projects to do to reach out to more persons with deafness to meet their needs.

Cheers:)

Bolehed!

Well, it finally happened. The Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival 2006 came and went over the weekend. Most of us in the organizing committee were flustered and flat out by the end of yesterday.

I thank God for the fact that the carnival actually happened. While there were minor hiccups here and there, and some tempers flared, it was nothing short of a successful event. I have done several commercial events before and I can say from the bottom of my heart, this one beat them hands down.

This carnival was like a baptism of fire for me. I overcame my initial fear of interacting with people who use only sign language. Despite having joined The Singapore Association for the Deaf for over a year as volunteer, I have never managed beyond a polite smile to every signing deaf person that I have met. It's not so much that they are to be feared, but I was too concerned about how I am gonna hold a decent conversation with them. These couple of days, I discovered some of my signing friends are a lot more patient that I imagined them to be. They took in whatever gestures, mouthing of words, broken signs, etc that I could give and we actually could converse, and even shared jokes! It's amazing, and I am certainly more resolved to improve my sign language so as to be able to interact with these friends better. Thanks Ee Wun, Nancy, and Elizabeth. You all inspired me, no less.

I must admit that I was getting cold feet over my stint as an MC for the carnival. The reason is that I don't usually hear myself clearly over an open-air PA system. How to enunciate clearly when I can't hear clearly? Secretly, I was hoping that someone out there with better hearing than me would suddenly offer to take over from me.

There were a few bloopers. While I practised hard not to trip over "The Boy's Brigade 60th Company Pipes and Drums band from Raffles Institution", I tripped over other words. Just digress a little. During rehearsal, I kept saying "The Boy's Brigade 60th Anniversary Pipes and Dreams band from Raffles Institution". Wouldn't it be nice if the name was shorter?

Anyway, as usual, I was reading aloud all words that I came on both mornings in preparation for the marathon speaking stint. Shop names, notices on walkways, notices on walls, signboards, you name it. On one occasion, a couple walked past me and gave me a puzzling look. This guy's got no handphone or bluetooth earpiece on, so who is he speaking to? Hey, I've got the latest in-the-ear earpiece man :D

I really enjoyed doing both the opening ceremony and the afternoon/closing stint yesterday. With Lyn around, you can count on her to make enough noise to keep the excitement quotient up.

My family came to support me on both days and guess what, both my girls picked up the signs for alphabets pretty well! I think they will go far :) My friends, colleagues and relatives all came to give their support. To Pastor Tan, James, Man Lin & family, Bee Hoon & family, Eileen & friend, Michelle, 2nd uncle, 3rd aunt, cousin Tueng and family, Val, Chee Siang, Yumi, Lawrence, YC, Dad, Mom, Veron, Deborah, and Rachel, a BIG heartfelt thanks from me to all of you. To Val, toilet is signed as letter "T" shaking from left to right :)

To my loved ones: thanks for respecting my wish to identify with the deaf community because I really hope to do something for this community. Thanks for sharing me, especially Veron, Deborah and Rachel, with the deaf community.

Dad, I know you are not too comfortable with me taking on such a role because in your eyes, I am not deaf. Physically I cannot run away from the fact that my sense of hearing is significantly impaired (hence, deaf), but as a person, I am not handicapped or unable. I have gamely taken on everything that comes my way as any other able-bodied person since young, even though I have had to contend with some disadvantages. This alone is something you can be proud of. I will continue to advocate and push for changes to help this group of people because having experienced what being unable to hear is like, I know how it feels. Too many talented persons with deafness have been hindered from realizing their potential, and if I have been blessed with opportunities to allow my potential to bloom, I am sure many parents of children with deafness would like to see the same for their children, to see them grow up with a sense of purpose and achievement.

Physically deaf, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually hearing.

Thanks for all your support, and God bless you all.

My other BIG day

Tomorrow's THE day. It's the start of the Deaf-initely Boleh! weekend carnival (http://deafboleh.com) at Lee Kong Chian Reference Library, next to Bugis Junction.

This project started slightly more than one year ago when a group of total strangers met, brainstormed, and put together a concerted drive to help those with hearing loss integrate more effectively into our largely hearing society.

It's been a wonderful journey thus far, with many strong friendships formed, and it's just plain encouraging to see all of my teammates putting their heart and soul into making this happen.

I thank God for this interesting chapter in my life. I came to The Singapore Association for the Deaf to volunteer my services, especially in seeing how the deaf can be helped. I was in turn helped in many ways, and felt the sincere love and care from this special group of friends.

To Joan, Yiquan, Lynne, Annie, Samantha, Ser Ming, Gerard, Zach, Pet, Dawn, Alvan, Ee Wun and of course, poster-girl Lyn, thanks for everything.

To all of you out there, join us tomorrow and Sunday, 11am to 6pm, at Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival 2006.

Cheers :)

Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival 2006

Deaf-initely Boleh! is not just another carnival to tickle your senses and kill time.

It is not a place to go jalan-jalan or makan-makan.

Nor is it just another project to educate the public about a segment of disabled persons.

It is most certainly not an attempt to tug at your heartstrings or wallets.

It is about the desire of those who have lost their hearing to remain a vibrant part of our society.

It is about the basic human need to interact, communicate, and relate.

It is about inclusiveness.

It is about mutual respect.

It is about reaching out and making a difference.

It is about changing our mindset and being prepared to embrace differences.

It is about challenging the norms and questioning status quo.

It is about ... life.

T

H

I

N

K

for a moment

If the whole world signs except you, how would you feel?

You can get out of your comfort zone, face the realities, feel the determination, and see the grit, or you can waste another weekend shopping and eating away. Choose wisely.

See YOU at Deaf-initely Boleh! Carnival 2006, 9th - 10th Dec 2006, 11am-6pm, Lee Kong Chian Reference Library, http://deafboleh.com

Thomas
Deaf & Boleh! since birth and re-birth

Deaf-initely Boleh! website launched

It is finally here, *whew* :)

Deaf-initely Boleh!, a project which I have been working on with fellow volunteers from the Singapore Association for the Deaf, has finally launched her very own website. This was put together by me over a couple of weekends and some weeknights by the grace of God. Check us out at http://deafboleh.com

We have a forum and a one-stop portal that provide timely and useful information for all persons in Singapore who are dealing with hearing loss, or who relate to someone who has hearing loss. What's more, we have a family carnival on 9th & 10th Dec 2006 that will provide fun and entertainment, while at the same time giving you hands-on experience, answers to questions about hearing loss, and talks about issues surrounding persons with hearing loss in Singapore. It's a unique, first of its kind event, and I strongly recommend that to anyone who knows someone with hearing loss, be that an elderly parent, a colleague, a classmate, or a little child.

Deaf-initely Boleh! is all about helping persons with hearing loss integrate more effectively into the hearing community at all levels of life in Singapore. We believe wholeheartedly that every person with hearing loss is capable of functioning to his/her fullest potential when given the right level of support and information. Bookmark our website and join us as we work together towards this integration. People with deafness can - or simply, Deaf-initely Boleh!

Be Deaf to Negativity...!!

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly, no one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as "Oh, WAY too difficult!!", "They will NEVER make it to the top" or "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one.... Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....The crowd continued to yell,"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up.... But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....This one wouldn't give up! At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out....That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is: Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart! Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore: ALWAYS be.... POSITIVE!

And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think: God and I can do this!

Forwarded by Abraham Teo

Open Letter to Colleagues (15th Aug 2002)

Dear colleagues

It's a difficult thing to do but in the interest of our working together, I had better be open about things.

Most of you may not know that I am almost totally deaf. The hearing in my right ear deteriorated from the age of 5 and by the age of 10, I could only hear with my left ear. By the time I reach Secondary School, the hearing in my left ear was going too and I was told to wear a hearing aid. In the last couple of years, the hearing in my left ear has deteriorated further, and even with a new and more powerful hearing aid, I am unable to hear well. At the same time, my speech has been affected and over the last few years, speaking clearly and fluently has become a challenge as well.

I don't have the answer to my personal struggles or whether things will become better or worse. But while I am still part of this team, may I ask of a few favours from you in our interaction. You will probably find these comments useful in your interaction with other deaf people if you come across them in your life in future:

• Try to speak clearly and slowly to me and look at me when we are talking. I need to read lips to understand what you are saying. You don't have to deliberately speak loudly though. Try not to call me from behind or from my right.
• Noisy places like canteen is out for me when it comes to discussion. I cannot hear and therefore respond intelligently. If we can, I would prefer to discuss in a quiet meeting room, one to one.
• In a group meeting, if you can, try not to talk at the same time, as I can at most catch remnants of what each is trying to say, and that sometimes don't add up to a coherent thought, which explains why I need to stare intently at each of you, and for most of the time, I reserve comments until after the meeting, when I have clarified with those who have spoken. When I don't laugh at your jokes, it's not because it isn't funny but probably because I didn't catch what you say.
• Using the telephone is a challenge for me, more so the mobile phone. The hearing aid, unlike the natural ear, gives a "feedback" sound like what you hear in radio talkshows when the caller's phone is near the radio. By now, most of you would have heard the shrilling sound that comes from my hearing aid. if possible, may I ask that you SMS or email me, or let me know to call you back from a quiet place. By the way, some of you ask me why I have a piece of cotton wool over my mobile - it's to reduce the "feedback".
• I am not unfriendly, in fact, I laugh a lot at home and in church when I do children programmes. Because facial movements associated with smiling or laughing dislodge the hearing aid from its position, I have not much choice but to refrain from smiling, and speak with minimal movement of my cheeks. Take heart, I do have a sense of humour and can share a side-splitting joke or two.
• Email is the best form of communication for me. If you can follow-up your thoughts in a discussion with an email, it will help me understand things better, and I can respond in a comprehensive manner, not missing out on anything. If you are a "pick up the phone and talk" or "come to the desk and talk" person, may I request that you either give me an email before hand or after the session, so that I can respond coherently.
• Sorry if I have to make you repeat what you say, but it's not a choice that I have. See above point on email to so that you need not repeat so many times.
• I may not respond to things said immediately because I need to verify what I have heard is what's being said. It's not that I am unhelpful, without thought, or comment.

Having said this, I hope I am not imposing on you too much. When I decided to pursue a normal education and work in a hearing world, I know there are obstacles that I need to overcome, such as struggling with basic things like oral and tele-communication. With proper support from the team, I, or for that matter, any person with disabilities, can be an asset.

I am like a rusty can of Coke. I don't look impressive on the outside, am usually quiet, and work alone. But try shaking a little, and open the can, you will see the same gush of ideas like any other clean new can of Coke. It’s the real thing.

Thanks and regards,

Thomas Tan

Editor's note: This email was sent to everyone in the company I worked for, an IBM subsidiary. Back then, I was the manager for professional services and a solution architect. Face-to-face meetings, phone calls and teleconferences made up a big portion of my daily routine. It was after a series of frustrating, productivity-impacting experiences that I decided to write this memo. Following the memo, I received encouraging emails - from my General Manager and fellow colleagues. Whether things changed significantly or not, I cannot tell for sure, but certainly, I felt instantly more at ease relating to my colleagues. For instance, they no longer feel strange why I always choose to move to their right (so that I can hear from my left ear, which is the better one), or why I like to stand when I am addressing a group, even in a small meeting room (so that I can watch and observe everyone when I am speaking). Many colleagues became firm friends till today. I may have sent this letter in desperation, but I got more than what I bargained for by the grace of God.

New Portal for Persons with Hearing Loss

I am pleased to announce the general availability of the latest blog for persons with hearing loss. It's started by my friend and fellow volunteer who goes by the pseudonym "Le Petit Prince". Le Petit Prince is himself a prolific writer & a regular contributor to The Straits Times Forum page.

What YOU can expect:

• Latest development concerning deafness and people affected by it
• Tips and advice from the field (people who have been there, done that)
• Motivational speeches and articles to keep you going
• Information to help you enhance your quality of life as a person with hearing loss
• Support for family and organizations dealing with persons affected by deafness
• Informal support network

Check it out - What matters deafness of the ears, when the mind hears?

May God bless you,

Thomas

My Child is deaf! What can I do?

The following is my speech for the above-titled forum to be held at Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel today. This forum is organized by Mount Elizabeth Hospital.

Good afternoon ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls. It's my pleasure to be here with you today, speaking as a person who's deaf. I will share more about myself as I go along.

Most of you are here for your child. You want to know how you can help or support your child. You want to understand what your child needs are and how these needs can be met. That's one of the most important things to begin with - to give your child the love and support that he or she needs.

Unlike some other forms of physical disabilities, deafness affects a person beyond the physical realm. It strikes at the very foundation of all human interactions - the ability to communicate effectively. A child who's deaf needs help & motivation to build up the necessary foundation in spoken and written communication early in life. Hearing and speaking don't come easily for a deaf child and the child may not understand why it is important to keep at it. As adults, we will, however, understand that communication is a basic building block for learning and interaction which will shape the child further as he or she develops. Without a strong foundation in communication, I personally feel that a child may grow up shortchanged in many areas later in life, including a good command of language and social skills.

Thinking back, when I started to lose my hearing from the age of 3, life went on as usual for me. I was sent to a mainstream kindergarten and primary school because back in the 70s, my parents had not known or thought that I would need other options.

I had my challenges back then, such as failing in my dictation tests. Although I had a letter from a specialist to sit in front of the class, it didn't help much when the teacher walked all over the classroom. I also missed out an announcement for a spelling test in Primary One and as a result, you know what happened. However, being exposed to a hearing environment since young kept me on the lookout for ways to overcome limitations that are imposed by deafness on communication. I learned to face the source of sound, especially speech. I lip-read most of the time and I consider this an advantage because it allows me to focus on the expression of the speaker, thus taking in non-verbal cues which complete a conversation. I also read a lot as a child and was especially strong in written communication. This proved to be handy later in life at junior college and university levels, and even more so in today's world where most business communication takes place through email, instant messages and even SMS.

Every case of deafness is unique in its own way. Some people are born deaf; others, like me, become deaf later in life. I have had profound hearing loss in both ears for between 16 and 30 years, and I rely on a pair of hearing aids in all my waking hours. Drawing from my personal experience, I believe it's important to make the best use of what a person has, especially residual hearing, to communicate effectively. By maximizing a child’s abilities to communicate and relate to people, you are helping the child transcend the limiting effects of deafness.

As a deaf person, I have been overcompensated in many wonderful ways. Being deaf has taught me to be extremely focused and disciplined. Before any discussion or meeting, I would prepare myself by reading up & clarifying on relevant information. Likewise, after each meeting, I will read the minutes and notes taken to ensure that I have not misunderstood anything. In other words, I do my due diligence in ensuring that I have understood and been understood correctly.

I have also learnt to be flexible and to adapt well to changing circumstances. For instance, I use different hearing aids for different situations. In a small meeting room that’s relatively quiet, I would use a digital hearing aid that gives me a better quality of sound. In a noisier and open environment, I would use an analog hearing aid that allows me to adjust the volume to a suitable level. Similarly when I am expected to be on the phone for long, I use an in-the-ear hearing aid for maximum comfort or when I am doing teleconferencing, I put the phone on speaker. I still don’t catch every word that’s being said but I generally do well in understanding most conversations with the help of lip-reading, body language, and a keen observation of the speaker.

Earlier in my school days, I taped down lectures and replay them to ensure that I catch the essence of the lectures. I also had study groups with good friends outside of school hours where we discuss and exchange thoughts on what we have learnt.

I learnt from young that no man is an island. I was as much a good friend to my friends as they were to me. I was always ready to help in areas that I am strong in, and in turn received much help & encouragement from my friends. A group of good friends in the university made a big impact on my life. Those were the days when things were moving very fast, and with so many things to juggle, such as studies, projects, hostel activities, etc, being deaf certainly didn’t help much. Thankfully, a strong friendship and our common faith saw me through those 3 years.

The family that I grew up in did not give me any special support, except love. My parents were proud of me although they don’t say it, and my younger siblings looked up to me. As the eldest son in my family, I just felt that I had to lead and show a good example to my brothers, deaf or otherwise. In the words of Nike, I just go out there and DO IT.

Speaking of Nike, my father was an inspiration to me. He overcame a bad case of high blood pressure to become a top marathon runner in the region. For years, he was sponsored by Nike, winning competitions in various parts of the world. His discipline, focus, and determination were an example for me. Although he didn’t say much, he taught me through his actions.

As parents, the best you can do for your child is to love and support him or her. You may not fully understand the challenges and frustrations that your child faces, but you can support your child by being an “overcomer” yourself and in believing in your child.

Being deaf does not mean less, whether in terms of capabilities, opportunities, potential, or quality of life. I may be here today as a role model, but your child will be one tomorrow.

To round off, I would like to show you a short video clip featuring various deaf persons who are “overcomers” in their own right, a people with dreams, hopes and aspirations.

Click here for video

I am deaf. Can I help you?

I became deaf in my right ear at age 3 or 5, seemingly after high fever resulting from mumps. Nobody really knew because in those days (early 1970s), hearing screening for toddlers was unheard of in Singapore, and my mother didn't really think I was deaf though she could recall that I didn't respond well whenever my name was called, despite her having one of the loudest voices in the neighbourhood:). So whether it was high fever, a bad head injury I had when I was 3, or when a large earwax deposit was found and flushed out of my ear by an ENT specialist during my toddler years, I can't possibly know but one thing was sure, I was losing my hearing on my right ear very rapidly. By age 10, I no longer could use the telephone on my right ear, not even hearing the "toooo" tone over the phone. Meanwhile, my left ear's hearing deteriorated (again from what age, I cannot be sure). By the time I was in 2nd year NTU, I had to wear a hearing aid on my left ear at all times, and even then, hearing was a challenge. I would need to playback lecture recordings 3 times in my hostel room just to catch what the whole lecture was all about.

I suspect severe to profound hearing loss hit my right ear at age 10, and my left ear in secondary school/Junior college years. Nonetheless, since young, I have been to mainstream schools with no special arrangement/aid. I learned to turn to face the source of sound in the classroom as a child, and it has always been my style to face the speaker and subconsciously lip-read. I usually prepare myself ahead of any meeting or discussion so that I know what to expect. I didn't have to go through any speech training because I have been hearing & speaking all my life. Actually, I even played the electone (organ) till my teenage years & enjoyed music just like any teenager.

Today, at 37 years, I hear about 50% of what's spoken (with the hearing aid), and supplement the rest with lip-read, cross-checking, and notes taken (such as minutes, email follow-up, presentation materials, etc). I no longer enjoy listening to music as I can't really differentiate the differences in pitch, tone & key; however, somehow, by the grace of God, whenever my wife plays the piano, I can absorb and enjoy the songs she plays. Life's little surprises and mysteries:) As I shared previously, I sometimes find it difficult to speak clearly since I don't hear myself completely and clearly either. It's like speaking with cotton stuffed in the mouth or a swollen tongue. Before any speaking engagement (eg. presentations, seminars), I will work hard in "loosening" my tongue and rehearse repeatedly until I get it right. Like my university days, I probably put in 3 times more effort to get ready to speak and participate in an oral discussion, since speech and hearing don't come easily.

Not that I have all answers to the challenges that HI people face, but if I start sharing now, perhaps some people may be helped.

I have my challenges at work, such as using the phone, teleconferencing, or interacting with people at conferences & events, or anywhere where more than one person may be speaking at any one time, and where there's noise in the background. Or even in speaking to Causasians with a strong nasal tone and heavy accent. If you think about the work that I do (I am in IT sales & consultancy), you can expect such scenarios to take up say 80% or more of my work. I still use my 50% approach, supplemented with sometimes accurate, sometimes way-off-the-mark guesses. I'm actually beginning to feel challenged in group meetings with 5 or more persons. It's hard to engage the customer in a mutually satisfying discussion if I keep missing their comments or questions, despite having them repeat what they say. I am still figuring out how to mitigate this, and if you have any good suggestions, keep them coming:)

Tips for HI people:

1. Use your hearing & speech, or lose it.
2. Choose a suitable hearing aid for each ear if you have hearing loss in both ears. In-the-ear (ITE) and In-the-canal (ITC) models are suitable for moderate hearing loss, while behind-the-ear (BTE) hearing aids are suitable for profound hearing loss. Continue to stimulate hearing through listening. It's like muscles; if you want to keep them in shape, work them. If you have hearing loss in only one ear, use a hearing aid for that too because if you don't, you will lose the hearing in that ear.
3. If you need to use the phone regularly and you use an ITE/ITC hearing aid, place a piece of facial cotton or a make-up sponge (you can buy these at cosmetics shops; I understand these are use to wipe off facial makeup) between your handset and your ear to cut off feedback & background noise. If you use a BTE hearing aid, try an induction loop and a phone that supports hearing aid. I understand that Nokia phones are widely compatible with induction loop. You can approach the hearing care technician at the Singapore Association for the Deaf (or your local equivalent) or any hearing care specialists for assistance.
4. Where possible, try using speaker phone on your mobile or fixed-line phone as the volume can be turned up. If you do not have a speaker phone, consider using a phone amplifier which can be bought from the Singapore Association for the Deaf or various hearing clinics.
5. Face the source of sound at all times. There's nothing wrong with lip-reading. If you have to cup your ears to hear better, do it. Nothing to be ashamed of.
6. Try to meet people in small groups and in quiet places, of course.
7. Supplement your hearing with text materials to help you understand better what transpired in any discussion. Use notes, presentation slides, email follow-up, agenda outline.
8. Always clarify when in doubt about whether you have heard a person correctly.
9. Read widely & have a good command of the main language used at work & elsewhere. Being hard of hearing means that you may need to rely heavily on written correspondences, and this is one good avenue to get points communicated clearly.
10. Use subtitles whenever available. Communication is all about getting a message across, and if we need to read subtitles to follow a media broadcast, do it.
11. Ask for permission to record discussions with MP3 players. Playback at your convenience.
12. Be at peace with yourself. The challenges we face interacting with people can be frustrating. Look for ways in which you can be economically productive without letting your hearing impairment become a stumbling block. I have written a short blog on professions for the deaf. Check it out. Think about the possibilities. I think there are many more avenues for HI people like you and me to have a meaningful career.
13. Be at peace with God. HI or not, we can never be entirely self-sufficient. It's better to acknowledge our weaknesses and allow God to work through us.

God bless you:)

Thomas
Category: cf_df, sounding board

Professions for the deaf

I took part in a Sign & Tell event for hearing-impaired (HI) children & children of HI parents last Sat. I pondered about the challenges these children & their parents face, and also about my own challenges as a HI working professional.

I think the greatest challenge lies in communication. Communication as you know it, is not just about the written word or spoken words, but encompasses other non-verbal cues such as body language, tone, gestures, etc. For the HI, not being able to take in communication in its full context prevents them from integrating well with hearing folks. Many a times, I have heard comments like the deaf live in their own world, or have poor attitude, or are stubborn. Some of these comments may have resulted from a lack of understanding, though some may be genuine. But then, I think the deaf, having grown up missing out on most aspects of communication, cannot be faulted for displaying what seems like stubbornness or poor attitude. I think the deaf started life on a different platform, like people from a different country, speaking a different language, and living in a different culture. More time and patience is needed for people from two cultures to form a mutual bond.

Unfortunately, in this economy, most people don't have the time or patience to help the HI. Even the hearing are already struggling with survival in the new economy. Let's do whatever we can to help the HI to be more self-sufficient in their working life. I believe there's potential for them to excel in certain professions. I urge business people and employers alike to consider HI people without fear or discrimination for the following professions. I urge parents and teachers dealing with HI kids to consider encouraging the kids to explore these as future professions as well. There should be more but this is a list to start with:

• script-writing
• proof-reading/editorial work
• photo-journalism
• visual illustration/drawing
• application development
• fashion design
• hair-styling
• creative designing/advertising
• book authoring
• documentation
• culinary works
• dance/performing arts

The bottomline is: creativity is not hindered by deafness. In fact, being cut off from all the noise and distractions, HI people can excel in works that require a heavy dose of creativity & imagination.

God bless you.

Thomas
Category: cf_df, sounding board