Dear brother,
"No temptation has seized you except what's common to man" (1 Cor 10:13) and "every sin that a man commits is outside the body, but when one sins sexually, he is sinning against his own body." (1 Cor 6:18)
As a young man, I struggled with porn, fornication, masturbation, sexual fantasies and lust. Jesus said when we look at a woman lustfully, we have already committed adultery, and we know that violates one of the 10 commandments.
Initially, I found it hard to comprehend how these may be offensive to the LORD until I realised that it all boils down to loving GOD and loving our neighbour as ourselves. As I look back, I am eternally thankful that GOD is merciful. He could have killed me in my shameless deeds BUT, He did not. He could also have exposed and shamed me in public, but He did not.
Over the years, over many cycles of miring in mud, cleaning up, and back to the mud again, the Holy Spirit dealt with me through the Holy Scriptures. I began to understand without a doubt why these are sins, and are not excusable, no matter how I try to trivialize them. Do search the Scriptures and meditate over them. Ask the Spirit to help us overcome the flesh, as "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Ask the Spirit to open our eyes to see the "wondrous truths in His laws."
But, how do we deal with this practically, in a world saturated with sexually explicit and suggestive images and messages?
1. Flee from temptation
I mean literally. Don't even look at images that fire up lust. Newspaper, TV and web are full of ads showing women in suggestive poses. Don't give them any attention. Look away from women who are inappropriately dressed. I personally avoid TV besides watching news, documentaries and family-oriented shows. As for the web, I surf it in the study room next to where my young daughters study. When I browse from my mobile, I avoid links and sites that are inappropriate. If I have to read an article online, I will choose a wholesome site over those that may contain adult content. Configure search engines to exclude sexually explicit content. Use Content Advisor in Internet Explorer to keep away from sexually explicit sites.
2. Saturate ourselves with His Word
His Word is "active and living, sharper than any double-edged sword." Hide them in our heart so that we will not sin against Him. Fill our minds with "psalms, hymns and spiritual songs" so that we are constantly reminded of His goodness, mercy and love. Submit to GOD, resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Talk about GOD and His Word with fellow brethren. Encourage, and be encouraged on how GOD wants us to live.
3. Have a healthy lifestyle
Take up a good sports; Nintendo Wii is NOT considered sports, and avoid beach sports for obvious reasons. I will also add, keep away from gyms. They are not as healthy as they once were. If you need a good workout, you can invest in a pair of dumbbells or a bicycle :) I personally like running. Sports keep us fit as well as minimizes the time we spend on the web. A person active in sports is also unlikely to stay up late and watch late night TV or browse the web. Do sports regularly with good friends. Avoid computer games as they numb the mind, lower our guard, and are an addiction themselves.
4. Get married
The Bible has much to say about this so I will not repeat it here. Sex is created for people to enjoy, but in the right context. We don't get married for sex, of course, but a married person who enjoys sex in a loving relationship with his wife, is less likely to succumb to sexual sins. When we learn to see our spouse as people, not sex objects, when we learn to love them as ourselves, we will appreciate better why sex in other context is disgusting. This is also what keeps us faithful in a marriage.
I will stop here for now. I hope the above is helpful in some ways.
Continue to grow and stay strong in Christ. The LORD bless you.
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