Monster Inc.

June 4, 2009. After what had seemed like forever, I finally experienced my first good night's rest after a very long while.

I had felt anger and malice toward those whom I regarded responsible for blatant mismanagement and blind handling of issues at the workplace.

I struggled between trying to exercise restrain, and being foulmouthed and using derogatory remarks on co-workers.

I was beyond frustration, I was totally exhausted and had given up on the people and the situation at the workplace.

 

I was at my breaking point when I realised that this was not the kind of person I wanted to become. There was no one I could count on.

Due to the inner turmoil that my heart was going through, I had no peace and rest. I did not know what to pray for anymore. I went before God in deep muted silence.

And everyday I continued to curse and swear and heap derogatory remarks on the people around me. After which my heart would cringe.

When I could no longer bear it, I confessed to a brethren how obnoxious I had been for the last six weeks. I asked God to forgive me.

 

On the night of my confession, I felt really light and slept well and serenely. I no longer dreamed of people from the workplace haunting me.

In my dream that night, while taking a quick view of the office, a voice told me that these things have never satisfied my soul.

Meanwhile I had been reacting badly to foolishness, cowardice and injustice in an environment dictated by self-interest and self-preservation.

It is sad to see adults and professionals behaving like a bunch of spoilt, insecure, egoistical school kids. My soul was even sadder that I was turning into a monster.

 

I do not know what will happen tomorrow but I know I no longer want to be an angry, foulmouthed person, letting God down.

I like to have peace and rest. I like to be a part of a team or environment that possesses passion, integrity, curiosity and creativity towards what they do.

Human beings who take pride in their job and who they are. It may be work but how we go about it shapes what becomes of us at the end of the day.

May God have mercy and strengthen and protect those who are trying, and those who are struggling everyday to be their utmost for His highest wherever He has planted them.

 

"Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matthew 11:29-30 The Message.

 

His peace be with you,

Sv  ".+