Letter to God (after the 2006 church camp)

Dear Father in Heaven

Thank you for the church camp I attended last week. Before the camp, I had looked forward to a time of refreshing, a time of empowerment, and a feel-good experience. However, I came away feeling unhappy. Unhappy with myself, that is. And I ought to feel that way because You have spoken to me in your gentle way about my current state of life. You made me realize where I stand as a believer and where I have fallen short.

For one thing, You helped me understand that loving You 100%, the first and greatest commandment, is easier said than done. You know that I have idols in my life - work, volunteer work, family, blogging, and other trivial pursuits, and I thought it's OK with You for me to have some seemingly harmless & even well-meaning indulgence. But lo, when You said "Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, with ALL your soul, with ALL your mind, and with ALL your strength", You really meant ALL. Father, I repent of all idols in my life. Please forgive me of my sins and purify me from these unrighteousness. You alone will be GOD in my life and I give 100% of myself to you, oh God, for You deserve nothing less.

You also revealed to me that self-discipline does not equal holiness. Reading the Bible daily, praying as often as I can, singing psalms and songs of praise in my mind, reading Christian literature do not equal holiness. Holiness comes from your Holy Spirit and I have yet to yield myself fully to your Holy Spirit. You showed me areas in my life that need to go - lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, idle talk, idle thoughts, judging others, pride, disobedience, impatience, fits of rage, envy, not honouring our national leaders, stealing from You. I began to realize that You have been extremely merciful to me. You did not write me off as a Pharisee or an unworthy Gentile but patiently work in my life. I now understand why I came out of this camp with a heavy heart because You have spoken to me and I know there's serious work to be done in my life.

Father, I repent of these areas which have grieved Your Holy Spirit. Please forgive me and purify me with the fire of your Holy Spirit. Anything that's unworthy and which do not honour you, O Father God, please burn them away. Let me be as a child, humble, trusting, believing, and leaning upon Your bosom. Let Your holiness transform me from this point forward and let me be sensitive to your Holy Spirit as I continue this walk with you.

Thank you, Father for your love for me. You have ministered to me in a special way, in the way I need to be ministered to, not in the way I think I should be ministered to. I love you, Lord.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Your child, Thomas